


Swallowed by the Whale

by Cinderlee1823



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Bulimia, F/F, Heathers - Freeform, Suicide, bluewhale, dukecentric, selfharm, whale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-09-16 06:18:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinderlee1823/pseuds/Cinderlee1823
Summary: DISCLAIMER! Yes I know that the BlueWhale challenge is a sensitive topic and I will try to do it justice, but I have not played nor do I know anyone who has played the game!Please read at your own risk!This describes self harming actions and thoughts in detail! May be triggering to some audiences!





	1. Day one: f57

It all started on a late night internet browse. She never intended to get this deep into the web. To be completely honest she doesn’t even remember how she got onto this website, reading about the Blue whale challenge. But alas here she was. She scrolled down as she continued reading, well not really reading but speed reading, only registering the ‘important’ words she saw. ‘Death game’ ‘Fifty days to live’, ‘supposedly cause of 130 suicides in Russia’, ‘do NOT play’. 

Duke scoffed. ‘Why would you tell people not to play if you know the majority of the people reading are already suicidal’ she thought, mouthing some of the words. 

“I’ll play, I wanna die anyway, might as well make a game of it.” She thought aloud. 

Heather has never had the best mental health, home life was hard, her mom only gave her the time of day when she was commenting on her weight. “Stop stuffing your face.” “You shouldn’t eat so many snacks” “you need to eat at least a bit of dinner or you’ll get bloated and look even more fat.” Her mom was a fucking twig so that made her just a bit more insecure. 

The only reason she was ‘stuffing her face’ was because she hadn’t eaten since the prior days lunch. The only reason she was ‘eating so many snacks’ was because she’d eat one snack to calm the raging fire in her stomach, but one snack was like fueling it, so she ate another and another and another. The only reason she wasn’t ‘eating at least a bit of dinner’ was because the old bat was fucking pestering her about her weight all the goddamn time.

School wasn’t that great either. Thank god Veronica and Mac were there. Veronica treated her like a human, and although McNamara has her extreme bitch moments, she still comforted Duke when she had the less than occasional break down. She hated crying in front of others, it made her feel weak and more useless than she already does. Chandler didn’t go above and beyond to make her life a living hell but the constant name calling and ‘shut up Heather’ s made getting up in the morning all the less appealing. 

 

It took a bit if searching but Heather finally found it. The website. She created an account which surprisingly required a lot of personal information, but Heather was too tired to care. She glanced over at the clock to see what time it was. 2:48 she’d been browsing since 11:00 and hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. She looked back at the screen in front of her. On the website she was immediately brought to a chat. It said admin at the top.

‘I want to play the game.’ She typed into her keyboard, but she hesitated before hitting send. 

A minute or two later the ‘admin’ or whatever, Replied. ‘Are you sure? You will die at the end. We have your information, you can’t back out.’

Duke felt a familiar pit of anxiety in her gut. Without realizing what she was doing she wrote ‘yes’ then hit enter.

‘Okay. I will ask you to complete a task everyday, once you finish you must send me a picture. On day fifty you must take your own life.’

Heather was slightly confused, task? She must’ve missed something in the article. ‘Alright’ she responded. ‘What do you want me to do?’ 

‘To prove that you’re serious, cut f57 into your hand, don’t try to fool me with a photoshopped picture or one that you found off google, I will know that you’re lying.’

Duke froze, was she really supposed to cut herself? She dabbled in self harm in middle school but after Chandler found out she stopped. Any time she’d pick up the razor she’d hear her ‘friend’s’ words echo in her mind. ‘Cutting is for losers and dykes who don’t have enough courage to go through with it and actually kill themselves.’ Duke tried to swallow the lump in her throat. The anxiety in her began to grow, she could already feel her heartbeat pick up and her palms sweat. 

‘Are you serious?’ She replied her hands starting to tremble lightly. 

‘What did you expect? If you don’t do it, your information will be leaked onto the dark web.’ 

The message send a wave of chills running down her spine. She looked around her dark room suddenly feeling afraid. She switched her position. Now rather than laying on her stomach she sat up and put her back against the headrest of her bed. She also put her laptop in her lap. 

‘Okay okay, I will.’ 

‘Send me a picture when you’re done.’ 

Duke didn’t own a razor anymore, how the fuck was she supposed to do this. She set her laptop down and climbed out of her bed. She almost fell from her own weight due to her legs shaking. She grabbed onto the nightstand and shifted a bit of her weight there. She was scared out of her mind, what the fuck did she just do. It finally hit her, she was going to die in fifty days. Her fate was sealed. “Fuck fuck fuck!” She whisper shouted covering her mouth with her hand. ‘Good job Heather you’re gonna die and it’ll be all your fault ya bimbo.’ She thought. 

She shakily made her way over to her desk she held herself steady and opened the drawer, she thought she heard something so she looked back at her room scanning it with fearful eyes. Seeing nothing she felt a small sense of relief and looked back at the drawer. She sifted through the messy space searching for something she could use to, cut herself. She found just what she was looking for, a small packet of extra ExactO knife blades. Her hands shaking violently, she opened the package and pulled one out. She swallowed hard as the blade glistened in the faint light that emanated from her still glowing computer screen. She made her was back to her bed blade in hand. She sat down and looked at the razor that sat in her palm. Her nose filled with the smell of metal and sweat. Most likely from her sweaty hands. 

Her heart pounded in her chest. Her breaths now escaped from her mouth, her lungs not being able to keep up with how much oxygen her heart was demanding. She took the blade in between her fingers and brought it to the back of her hand. She couldn’t back out, she really couldn’t. She made a quick downward motion on her hand seeing a thin line of red appear and feeling the sting of a fresh cut. She was flooded with a sense of relief somehow. Like the pain made things better for some reason. She continued to cut until ‘f57’ was scratched into her hand. She took a deep breath she felt, better? No. Empty. Empty not better. She stared down at it. Small beads of blood began to form. 

She then remembered that she needed to take a picture and send it to the admin. She opened photo booth on her laptop, not wanting to go through the trouble of taking the picture with her phone and emailing it to herself. Duke was an amateur photographer, so she’d be lying if she said this was her best work. Why was she even thinking about that? She had just cut herself. The last thing she should be thinking about is photo quality. She went back onto the window where she had Blue Whale, and uploaded the picture to the chat. 

‘I did it’ she typed out. Her hand still stung a bit. She dug herself in a deep fucking hole, a six feet one to be exact. One with her name engraved on a stone slab at the top. 

‘Good. You’re next task it to wake up at 4:20 tomorrow.’ 

‘Is that it?’

‘No. But you’ll have have to wait till tomorrow before I tell you more.’

Duke shut her laptop and set it on her nightstand, In a small state of shock. She crawled under the covers and closed her eyes, wanting to be able to wake up tomorrow and it’ll all have been a dream.

 

—————

It wasn’t. It wasn’t a dream.

Heather woke up to an alarm and a dreadful stinging in her hand. Duke sat up and hit the off button on her alarm she was so tired. The clock read 7:00 am. “The fuck?” She said groggily looking down at the back of her hand. The memories came flooding back and her eyes widened. It wasn’t a dream. She was gonna die in 50 days. She took a deep breath. She can do this. She has to.

Duke flung the covers off of herself and stood up out of bed. She immediately stumbled over to her closet, choosing a pair of dark green thigh highs, a plaid skirt that was white with green accents, a white long sleeved under shirt, and her normal green blazer and ribbon, for her attire.

She slipped on a pair of two inch black heels, she hated heels with a burning passion. But at least they added a couple inches to her normal 4’11” height. 

She nearly forgot about the scratches on her hand if it weren’t for it brushing on the doorframe as she left her room. “Ow-“ She hissed quietly and for the first time that morning she got an actually good look at the scratch. 

It was acutely hard to tell what it was. The letter and numbers had a apparent red ring around them, like it was already starting to get infected. She cursed softly under her breath. Whatever. If she got a fever then she’d just be able to skip school. 

Heather felt something brush against her leg as she made her way through the hallway, towards the bathroom. She glanced down and saw her cat, Benny. 

The Sphinx meowed at her, for some reason he always wanted the most attention when Duke wasn’t doing the best. 

“Hey Ben Ben..” she cooed at the small animal. Squatting down so that she was closer to his level. He chirped at her, always being a vocal cat when it came to requiring affection.

Heather pet her less than furry friend. She preferred hairless cats to normal ones because they were less reluctant to snuggle. She gave the small cat a little kiss on his head, to which he purred softly in response.

Heather was hit with a wave of sadness, she wouldn’t be able to see her little kitty anymore in less than two months. What has she done… 

“I gotta get ready for school buddy, but when I get back I promise we can play or cuddle or whatever…” she said softly tears pricking her eyes, her voice cracking. 

Her breath caught in her throat she picked up the cat and held him in her arms, and before she knew it she was crying, sitting on the flood holding Benny close to her. She couldn’t bring herself to let go of him.

She held him life that softly crying for about three minutes before-

“Heather! Get up out of bed! You need to go to school!” Her Mom’s voice rang loud and clear from downstairs. 

Duke had a sharp intake of breath, she wiped her eyes, thank god she hadn’t put makeup on yet, and calmed down her breathing. She sniffled and set her cat down onto the ground. 

She pet him one last time before standing up and yelling back at her mother. “I’m up! I’ll leave in a minute!” She said her voice having a harsh edge along with a raspy tone due to crying. 

The green clad girl then went into the bathroom. To brush her teeth, curl her hair apply makeup, excetera excetera. She looked at herself in the mirror, she frowned pinching her chubby cheeks. She personally found herself disgusting. She couldn’t help but stare at a mirror a lot. It was almost like punishing herself. 

Heather has to leave for school though, if she was late, Chandler would give her an earful. She sighed and exited the bathroom. She walked down the hall, this time Benny nowhere in sight.

She trotted down the stairs and went into the kitchen grabbing a banana. She went through the living room, her mom sitting in the couch and to the door. She grabbed her purse and yanked the door open, and walked about halfway through before yelling. “Bye mom!” After a couple seconds she was met with no answer slightly annoyed she closed the door rather hard, and started walking over to her Jeep.

Took a deep breath then unlocked the doors getting into her car. She started up her car and backed out of her driveway. She had to pick up the other members her clique today. She was acutely late so she fully expected to be cursed out by Chandler an upset Chandler.

Duke decided it would be the best idea to pick up the Bitch Queen first. To have the best chance of not being late in the demon’s eyes.

She began the drive to Chandler’s house her nails tapping in the wheel as she made the journey. She got to Heather’s house and stopped her car out in front. She honked her horn lightly trying to get the attention of her friend who she hoped was inside. 

A few moments later the alpha of the group emerged from her house. Duke would be lying if she said she wasn’t just slightly hoping that the red Empress didn’t walk out. Chandler walked up to the Jeep and got in. 

“Hey loser.” She greeted dryly.

“Hi, Heather.” Duke forced a smile. 

“I thought you always picked Mac up first.” She said not even looking at the other girl and instead looking at herself in her hand mirror.

“I decided on a change of pace. Is there a problem.” She sounded slightly exasperated as she began to drive towards Heather McNamara’s house, or should she say mansion. 

“No. Just wondering is all.” She sounded innocent but her words were lined with venom and had an underlying tone of warning.

After a few moments of threateningly heavy silence they were at Mac’s house. She honked a few times, McNamara was a little slower to react since most mornings she was with playing with her bird or dotling around without a care. 

After about a minute Chandler gave an audible huff of annoyance. “For fucks sake! Why is she taking so long!” The demon queen reached over the driver and began going ham on the horn. 

“Heather! Christ!” Duke tried to get the other girl away from the horn but she was much stronger than her and was putting all of her weight on the wheel. 

McNamara soon came rushing out of her house and down the pathway stairs. “I’m coming! God!” The yellow coded teen shouted over the sound of the blaring horn. 

Chandler finally stopped, and Duke sighed with relief. “It worked didn’t it? She defended.

Mac clambered into the Jeep and immediately buckled herself. “Did ya’ have to blaze the goddamn horn for so long?” She hissed. “My neighbors already hate me for the parties, I don’t need you guys making me seem like the Embodiment of all evil!” 

“Sorry Heather, maybe you should hurry up next time.” Chandler chimed unapologetically. 

Duke started up the car again. “We have to get to Ronnie’s before she decides to walk.” The green clad girl said not wanting to take part in the current conversation. The less time with Mac and Veronica the better, those two were too observant for Heather’s liking. They were a lot more likely to notice the cuts on Duke’s hand rather than Chandler. That girl couldn’t care less about Duke’s well-being as long as it didn’t affect the clique’s image. 

“Did you serious just call her ‘Ronnie’?” Chandler giggled cruelly. “Don’t get too attached to her now Heather. She’s been on thin fucking ice lately.” 

Heather kept her eyes on the road but she couldn’t help but feel a small pit of dread in her stomach. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why. 

On the way to Veronica’s house she had this open ended feeling. She felt uneasy and didn’t know why, she felt like Mac had her eyes on her, but was too afraid to look back and find out for herself.

Sawyer’s house was closer to the school than the rest of the Heathers’ houses. Hence why sometimes when they were late, they’d see Veronica walking. As Chandler put it, ‘walking is for losers, not for the top dogs like us’ so whenever Duke was driving she tried to get to Veronica’s house before they were considered late so that she could save the girl a lecture from Chandler.

Thankfully, Duke got to the Sawyer residence in the nick of time. Veronica was already outside her house looking as if she was contemplating leaving to take the sidewalk. She saw the Heathers and jogged up to the car getting in the back opposite of Mac.

“Hey guys!” She smiled at all the Heathers then looked over at Duke it still plastered to her face. “What took you so long?” She asked a genuine tone of curiosity to her voice.

“Ben threw up..” she lied simply, knowing that if a lie got too complicated it was much less believable. 

“Oh, hope he feels better now..” Veronica said kindly. 

Duke started up the car again and began to drive the short route to school. The got there and as soon as Duke parked Chandler’s commanding voice rang out. “We go in there as confident as ever, I don’t care if we’re late, we can’t afford weakness at the moment.” She said sternly. 

They all got out of the vehicle and walked towards the building to start another day of hell.


	2. Chapter 2- disgusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and Mac know too much, and Heather gets overwhelmed

Typical day for stereotypical teens. They’d get to a little too much unwanted attention, mostly from a certain seemingly constantly horny linebacker and quarterback. Ram trying to forcefully kiss Duke behind the bleachers only to be stopped by Chandler who afterwards wouldn’t shut up about it. Mac being a little ray of sunshine, talking about her bird at lunch as well as enthusing about all of this he different breeds she loved. Veronica nearly falling asleep at the lunch table only to be snapped at by Chandler. 

It was currently study hall, Veronica and Duke were sitting in the library studying for a math test they both had in a couple days. While Veronica read the questions in the book out loud Duke sorta day dreamed a bit, she’d never admit to day dreaming but it was one of her habits.

She chewed on her pen her mind raced with thoughts centered around her own worth, also how no one would miss her once she’s gone. 

The next thing she new there were fingers snapping in her face and as she moved out of her day dream state she heard Veronica’s voice call. “Heather? Earth to Green Apple-“ 

Duke, slightly annoyed at the nickname, tore the blue girl’s hand away from her face. “I told you not to call me that..” She mumbled.

“It fits you so perfectly though!” Veronica smiled. “You’re green and bitter but you have a secret sweetness that only the ones who know you best can find!” 

Duke couldn’t help but feel a small smile as the corners of her mouth twitched upward. 

“Anyways,” Veronica continued. “I was reading out the equation. If ‘X’ multiplied by the coefficient, which is 23.7 equals 94.8, how would you find ‘X’?”

“Ugh, come on Veronica this is literally seventh grade math-“ Heather complained.

“If it’s so easy then do it.” Veronica challenged her friend. Duke had never been all to good when it came to math, probably the worst out of all four Heather’s. She used to go to tutoring before she started getting teased for it. “Uhm,” Duke tried to think but her mind was coming up with blanks, she knew the answer but forgot the formula. “The answer is three right?”

“Yeah but they want to know how you got to that conclusion.” Veronica said pointing at the question in her Saxon book. “ ‘how would you find ‘X’?” 

“I don’t know..” Duke sighed defeated. 

“You multiply it by the reciprocal of the coefficient.” Veronica explained only to be met with a confused look from Heather. She took a deep breath and closed the book. “Don’t worry we can hang out sometime and I’ll explain it better… I’m too tired to do math, much less teach it.” Veronica set the book down on her right side then turned back to Heather with a faint smile on her face.

“Who ever said you were teaching me..” the other mumbled.

Veronica fell silent and when Duke looked over at her she found that the girl in blue’s attention was drawn toward her hand, the one she cut the night prior. “What happened?” She spoke looking at Heather.

Duke pulled both of her hands into her lap covering up the scratched on. “Nothing.” She said in a rushed tone. She racked her mind for an excuse, deciding to go with the following. “Benny scratched me…” ‘Yeah sure that will work.’ She thought, even though the little sphinx cat would never do such a thing, as well as the fact that he was declawed. 

Veronica’s face revealed a cocktail of emotions, most prominent being worry, and defeat, as well as looking unconvinced. “Alright,” she said here eyes saying that it in fact was not alright. “Do you wanna go find Heather and Heather?” She asked, changing the subject. 

Duke stood up quickly. “No I-“ she began before her feet gave out underneath her and her eyes blacked out. She stumbled grabbing onto the bookshelf for support. Her ears rang and it felt like they were being covered by earmuffs. Veronica has sprang up and was holding onto Heather’s shoulders, she could make out Sawyer’s muffled voices behind all of the ringing. Once heather gained her balance and could see again she spoke softly. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” She tried walking away but Veronica held her in a strong grip. 

“No. You’re staying with me until I know you’re okay.” She said firmly.

“Veronica I’m fine.” She hissed attempting to get away from the not so Heather.

The tall girl shook her head, her eyes pleading. “You are not fine Heather.” 

Duke managed to drag herself out of Veronica’s hold. Her stomach churned with anxiety. She looked at the other girl for a brief moment before rushing out of the library and towards the bathroom. Her body tensed up, she felt like a baby calf who had strayed away from the protection of its herd. She felt eyes on her, like hungry wolves, rearing up for the attack. Her breaths became labored, like her throat was closing in on itself making it so she couldn’t breathe.

Her feet grew quicker and quicker in pace. She would’ve forgotten where she was heading, if it had not been for the girls bathroom only being a few feet ahead. She threw open the door and went into one of the stalls. 

Her hands came up too her face as she rubbed away hot tears that had begun to gather in her eyes in her rush. 

She then looked down at her hands, these hands had done so many disgusting things, from shoving them down her throat to being forced to give handjobs. 

The disgust ran through her body like hot fire until it engulfed her entire being. Her mind screamed ‘disgusting disgusting disgusting!’ Over and over. 

Heather got on her knees and bent down in front of the toilet, her left hand shot up out of instinct and her index finger went down her throat. She gagged once or twice before the contents of her stomach began to empty themselves.

Now with every gag came another wave of stomach acids and half digested food. In the haze of gags and sobs, she felt a gentle hand on her back, hesitant at first before it began to rub small circles on her spine. 

Once Duke was all out of contents to throw up she dissolved into quiet sobs and coughs. She could hear soft murmurs from behind her.

“Heather I’m really worried about her! You can’t just kick her off the team!” 

“I can do whatever the fuck I want!” 

“Please. You know what’ll happen to her if she’s not part of the group anymore?”

“Fine. But she’s on even thinner ice than before!”

The a voice near her ear quietly spoke. “Heather? Are you okay?” It was McNamara. 

Duke, not having any strength left in herself, collapsed into the other girl. She felt her eyelids grow heavy, as protective arms wrapped around her, before everything went blank.

 

————

Mac felt Duke’s weak body go limp, the only movement made was her small breaths. She looked down at the green clad girl her eyes clouded with concern. 

“I’m skipping the rest of class to watch Heather.” She said her head turning to the two others in the room. “Ronnie, can you help me carry her over to her car?” She asked. 

Veronica nodded. “Of course.”

McNamara looked over at Chandler. Despite what her expression conveyed, her body language seemed awkward and uncomfortable. 

“Is she alright?” Chandler hissed sounding annoyed. 

“She’s peachy, Heather. Just peachy.” Mac snapped back her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Of course not!”

McNamara positioned herself so that she could lift Duke up. She expected Duke to be much heavier than the she actually was, in fact, Heather was so much lighter that Mac nearly stumbled because of how unexpected it was. 

Heather made her way out of the stall, the much shorter girl in her arms. 

“I hope you’re planning on taking her after study hall, when everyone’s gone to class? You know how bad it would look if you carried her out?” Chandler sneered. It seemed the girl had her eye out for their reputation, rather than the unconscious person in the room. 

“To be honest, Heather,” McNamara said in a faux peppy tone. “I don’t give one single fuck about what other people think right now!” It was obvious that she was at the end of her rope with the other girl. 

Veronica stood in the room awkwardly. “Heathers right..” She said to Chandler, “I think Heather’s safety should be more important than our reputation at the moment..”

“That’s because you guys aren’t the ones who’ll get shit!” The top dog snapped. “It’ll be in the goddamn school paper! Everywhere! What am I s’posed to do then? Get rid of Heather and Mac?

“Why should our whole group suffer because of Heather’s dumb fuck decisions?!” 

McNamara has to admit that there was some reasoning to Heather’s statement. She still needed to help the passed out girl in her arms though. “Fine we’ll wait. The period is almost over anyways..” she muttered.

They stood awkwardly in the bathroom for about ten minutes before the bell rang, they then waited for another five before Chandler let them leave.

Veronica and McNamara, accompanied by Chandler because she had nothing better to do, walked out, and down the hall towards the parking lot entrance.

“How is she?” Veronica asked speeding up to match Mac’s pace. 

“She’s pale but still breathing. I hope she wakes up soon..” 

Chandler for the duration of the walk continued to look around for anyone who might be watching. As soon as they got to Heather’s Jeep Chandler let her shoulders sink. 

Mac searched for the keys to the car in the pockets of Heather’s blazer. Once she found them she opened the back seat and lay Duke down. 

She then tossed the keys to Chandler, who fumbled with them almost dropping them. “We’re going to mine.” 

“Whoever said I was driving?” She squawked. 

“Me. Veronica and I don’t have licenses and Duke’s unconscious.” McNamara explained. 

Chandler grumbled something under her breath. She walked over to the front seat threw open the door got in and slammed it shut with the attitude similar to a toddler.

McNamara sighed, then looked over to Veronica. “You can have the front seat.. I want to make sure Duke will be alright in the back..” 

Veronica nodded then climbed into the front seat. 

Mac got into the Jeep. She buckled herself then picked up Duke’s upper half, placing the smaller girls head in her lap.

Chandler started the car and backed out of the parking lot and Towards Heather’s house. McNamara played with Duke’s hair for the duration of the car ride, for the most part they sat in awkward silence. Her eyes caught something red, besides Chandlers blazer of course. It was Duke’s hand. She picked up the other girls hand, and in response Heather twitched violently. 

Her face dropped as she looked at the sick girl’s hand. At first she thought it was a symbol, but then she realized that it said f-57. Confused, She pulled out her phone and took a picture of it. She’d look it up later. For now what was important was getting Duke somewhere safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I’m really sorry if you didn’t like the fic, I just kinda needed an outlet for all of my emotions and I prefer to take them out on helpless fictional characters. If y’all want me to continue this I will but I don’t know how long it’ll go on for!


End file.
